The Five Keys to Effective Parenting
Introduction
Let me tell you a story. My grandfather used to work with elephants in the jungles of Burma. One of the stories he told me was about how they trained the baby elephants. When training elephants, keepers would begin by putting a baby elephant on a huge, heavy chain connected to a deep-driven peg. After pulling at it many, many times, the elephant eventually gave up as it learned that it was useless to try to break away. Eventually, the keeper removed the peg and just left a small chain around a leg. This was all that was needed to keep the elephant obedient. Even though there was nothing preventing the elephant from escaping, it never even attempted it, because the knowledge that it could never break that chain had become deeply ingrained.
This analogy relates to raising children in that children will challenge your authority many times over their childhood. However, if, in those first 12 years, they learn that there is no point to challenging you because you are always smarter, cooler and quicker, then they will cease to do so. By the time they reach an age when they COULD challenge you, they will be so well trained that it will not even occur to them. And IF it does occur to them, the habits of respect and obedience that you’ve inculcated in them will prevent them from doing so.
For example, when my siblings and I were growing up, we were disciplined several times a day by our father. Yet we never needed to receive another discipline after the age of 12 because we had learned the habits of prompt obedience and healthy respect for our parents by then. In our teen years when we were resentful of our parents’ authority and inclined to be rebellious, we still couldn’t bring ourselves to be disobedient or disrespectful – those lessons were just too well ingrained. It helped that we had a healthy awe of our father – not because we were afraid of his bite ( one or two controlled smacks which never stung more than a few seconds) but because he always seemed to be in control – of himself, us, the situation. Whatever was going on inside him, we never saw him lose his temper in all those years or seem unsure of what to do next. For children (so prone to strong emotions and impulses), seeing an adult with so much control inspires a lot of respect and awe.
Influencing teens
When your children are teenagers, it is their respect and awe of you as parents that allows you to retain authority and influence over them. Disciplining teens can be difficult because they are smarter, louder, stronger and more independant than they were as kids. If you allowed your child too much freedom, then trying to establish control when they are teenagers is very difficult. See how to correct a child.
So What are the benefits of using old fashioned parenting methods?
Firstly, by following the 5 basic keys, parents will find their job surprisingly simple and enjoyable. No more scratching heads and wracking brains trying to think of the appropriate response to a situation. No more frustration and guilt because parents know they handled the situation all wrong.
Secondly, if you implement this method early and consistently, the rules of behaviour will be so ingrained in your child by the time they are 12 or 13 years, that they will not even consider responding rudely or defying you. You will find yourself going through the teen years with a polite, obedient and courteous youth. For parents who have experienced an argumentative, rude and sulky teenager, that will be an irresistable attraction! Parents will be able to focus more on developing their child's character rather than crowd control. That may seem like a wild claim but it is perfectly doable. It's all about training.
The 5 Keys of Effective Parenting
Mastering these 5 simple principles will enable you to create a simple parenting plan, a happy home and secure children. The concepts sound -and are- so simple yet modern parenting practices have actually made it quite difficult for the average parent to do so.
Next page - How To Raise A Child.
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